Back in middle school I had chronic migraines. Mom had just jumped on the holistic medicine bandwagon. Naturally we went to see some super crunchy granola guy in a super crunchy granola health foods store who taught me that my migraines were a result of an imbalance in my colon. If I massaged a flap in my colon, they would go away. I didn't believe for a second, but Mom did. And as we all know when you're 12 what your Mom says goes. So I massaged the colon flap. The headaches stopped.
Strong evidence for holistic medicine?? Possibly. But I remain unconvinced because it's just weird.
Anyways, after 10+ years of peace I got a full blown migraine.
Naturally it set in right as I was trying to go to sleep.
I tossed. I turned. I tried sleeping on the sofa. I hunted for Advil that was nowhere to be found. I cried. I winced. I was utterly convinced that my life was moments away from death. Surely this wasn't a migraine. Surely it was a tumor. Or what about an aneurism? What if it's meningitis?! Oh good Lord I'm going to die!!
While I was doing my best imitation of a drama queen on the sofa, I grabbed my laptop, dimmed the backlight all the way, and discovered that migraines can be lessened using a cold compress or a cup of coffee. I made myself a cold compress & flipped on the Keurig.
It worked. No my migraine wasn't completely gone. But it had subsided enough to allow me to sleep three hours after I had initially intended to do so.
When I woke up Tuesday morning I was understandably...cranky. The full force of my frustration was turned toward the two giant trash bags full of clothing to be donated clogging up my already too full closet. I was just plain done. Those bags had to be removed immediately. Thankfully, there was a Zipcar available from 12-4 just a few blocks away. I showered, dressed, grabbed the bags and headed out the door.
In case you're wondering, hauling giant bags of donation goods is not a good idea, even if you're only going a few blocks. They end up ripped to pieces and you end up stopping every 10 feet to adjust how you're holding them.
First stop: Goodwill. Which was....closed. Same went for the Salvation Army across the street. Not the best start to my day.
Frustrated, I moved on to Operation Replace Mugsy. Poor Mugsy received a mercy flush when I got back to Maryland. While he was miraculously still alive, he had a parasite and was barely clinging to life. He didn't even put up a fight when flushed. Poor fish. So since I had a car and the ability to go to Petsmart I decided to replace Mugsy. $5 later I was getting back into the car with Spooky, an orange & black betta fish.
Next up was Operation Return Face-Burning Chemical. Dad had bought me an under eye primer from the MAC at Macy's over Christmas break. It did not get along well with my eyes. Sure my dark circles went away, but they were replaced with flaming patches that resembled eczema or possibly psoriasis. For a while I blamed it on my new Body Shop products that produced similar patches all over my entire face. After exchanging those and using hydrocortizone cream as moisturizer for about a week, the patches were gone. I tried my under eye primer again. Same patches. I was over it. MAC may make some super awesome makeup but their skin care products are just not for me. When I got to Macy's I ran into trouble again: there was no MAC counter at Macy's.
So far this day was just a total bust.
I decided to move on to my next errand and exchange Ginger for a phone that would hold a charge for more than 4 hours. Dad had called and discovered that we did indeed have an upgrade available. Did you know that AT&T will now buy your phone back from you?? Cause they totally will. The iPhone 4S was $100 even with the upgrade. Anything above free was out of my price range (oh the joys of being unemployed). The kind AT&T sales clerk entered Ginger's serial number into the system.
AT&T would buy Ginger from me for $134. Ginger's an iPhone 4. Illogical?? Completely. After all, the 4S was $100 but the 4 was apparently worth $134. Minutes later I was walking out the door with a brand new free phone one model newer than Ginger and an extra $34 towards the family's next bill; I figured putting it towards the bill was the least I could do for all the love & support they're giving me right now.
Since I was parked at Macy's, I had to head back through the store. I've been eyeing Clinique's Chubby Sticks ever since I tried Rachel's but dropping $16 on a lip product just seemed financially unwise.
Here's another fun fact: if you buy a product from as a cosmetics counter at Macy's you can return it to a different cosmetic counter as long as you have the receipt or the original packaging with the little Macy's return sticker on it. The Clinique lady let me play around with the makeup while I picked out a chubby stick and another little treat for myself.
Soon I was on my way back to the Zipcar with a Clinique eyeliner and Chubby Stick in tow. I was leaving the mall with an iPhone 4S and two pieces of Clinique makeup. I spent $1.06 while I was at the mall. Turns out, those face-burning chemicals had cost a lot more than I thought. Not that I'm complaining cause my new makeup is made of awesome. Did I mention that it only cost me $1.06? Cause it only cost me $1.06
I still had an hour and a half left on my rental. I needed to get some form of vegetable for dinner. Fun fact #3 for today is that two heads of broccoli will NOT last you a full month. Whoops. So I decided to use my spare time to swing by Wegman's and pick up a few things to make a salad. As luck would have it, Goodwill had a trailer in the Wegman's parking lot. Sweet. I dropped off my clothes, got my receipt and popped into Wegman's for salad mix. I made it back into the city with 45 minutes to spare.
I wasn't done yet. So far, my most expensive purchase was the salad supplies at $15 total. I know, big spender over here.
Bags and fish in tow, I started towards my apartment when it dawned on me that I had a certain coffee bag in my purse. Mom regularly buys Starbuck's coffee at the store. The bags have a coupon for a free tall brewed coffee. Even though I don't ever drink coffee after 3 PM I decided to redeem my coffee anyways.
Back in my apartment I set up Ginger 2.0. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with myself. I spent around $21 and ended up with:
- A new iPhone
- Clinique eyeliner
- Clinique chubby stick
- Coffee from Starbuck's
- A new betta fish
- Lettuce, lemons, parmesan cheese, and string cheese snacks
Mommysoproudofyou!!
ReplyDeleteI taught you well my dear!!
Love you!
Mom