[falling to pieces]

Y'all I'm falling apart over here.

I mean, really falling apart.

But I'm doing it in the most comedic manner possible.

Yesterday I could not access my online banking. Eventually I was locked out of my account and had to call the bank to let me back in. I was embarrassed so I didn't call.

Then this morning, Dad asked me to check something on my online banking. I had to call.

Turns out I was entering someone else's username. My account was just fine but some poor soul with a similar username is now officially locked out of their online account.

I locked someone else out of their online banking.

I literally kicked the dog out of the bed yesterday morning. I forgot she was sleeping on my feet and went to kick my feet. I connected with something solid. Instead of thinking, "oh there's a dog there," I kicked again. Harder. Kammie tumbled sideways on the floor. Oops. Of course I apologized profusely and thankfully all was immediately forgiven and Kammie returned to the bed.

But it gets better. Today I sat down to look for jobs. I turned on the TV for some background noise. Despicable Me was on so naturally my laptop remained unopened on the coffee table. On a commercial break I looked down to see a cute little face staring up at me. This little face:

Covered in mud. Her beard, both shoulders, and the left side of her butt were all muddy. So I snapped a few pictures, snatched Kenley up, and marched into the bathroom.

Kenley hates baths. HATES. Naturally a struggle ensued as soon as she hit the water. Flailing limbs (dog and human) lead to a thoroughly soaked bathroom. Eventually we both tired of the struggle and Kenley retreated to the far side of the bathtub. Since she still had shampoo on her, I resorted to filling up a water cup and throwing it at her, praying at least 1/8 of the water actually made contact with the dog. I threw cups of water, Kenley skittered about, and eventually she was forced back within range of my arms. I acted like that was my plan all along, snagged her, and finished the bath. I'm pretty sure parenting is not my thing given my treatment of the dogs the past two days.

I think all has been forgiven because now she's laying on the back of the sofa with her head on my shoulder.

Hopefully things will go up from here. I'm pretty sure after locking someone else out of their bank account, kicking one dog to the floor, and flinging cup fulls of water at the other dog, things can only go up from here.