[moving time blues]

Today has been unproductive. Supremely, ridiculously, unproductive.

Actually I suppose that's a bit unfair, but compared to yesterday I really haven't gotten much done.

Yesterday I fully moved back into my childhood bedroom. I set about it with a good deal of zest, removing old clothes and stuffing them in trash bags, unpacking space bags, finding homes for everything, removing things that I no longer use. I was a little tornado of activity, ripping & tearing through my room. I focused my energy on three places: the bathroom, armoire, and closet. After all, that was where I'd be putting what I'd brought home so I thought it prudent to tackle those three areas first.

Back in middle school, my good friend covered her walls in posters of bands and cute actors. I wanted to do the same but Mom quickly shot down that idea. So I decided to make a secret stash of posters instead. Blink-182 peeked out from behind my ever open closet door, as did locker posters made by friends. Opening up the armoire revealed posters of Josh Hartnett and Mark McGrath, along with Paul Walker, Hayden Christiansen, and Shane West.

Sitting on the floor folding t-shirts yesterday I looked up into the actors' faces and my heart sank a little bit. In the past the posters made me giggle and reminded me of a time when I was young, naive, and desperately craving freedom from my parents and school and rules in general.

But yesterday those posters made me sad. I am 25, I have graduated from law school, and I am living with my parents. I have no job, no spouse. Just two parakeets, a fish, and a handful of contacts that will hopefully lead to something somewhere someday.I have no intention of living with my parents long-term. Most of my belongings are in storage, not in my parents' house. Still.

It's uncertain how long I'll be here. It's uncertain where I'll go next.

And that overwhelmed me yesterday. What if I get stuck here? What if I don't find a job? How will I meet anyone? What if?

But then something dawned on me.

I'm actually very fortunate.

I am not living on the streets.
I am not in a place where I am absolutely desperate for work or money.
I am not alone.
I have parents who love me.
Parents who opened their home to me graciously in my time of need.
Parents who have gone above & beyond to make sure that I'm comfortable at home.

This is only temporary.

And you know what?

This is a good thing. This is an opportunity to pause, hit reset, and start again.

At the end of the day, there's no shame in moving home while you regroup. To quote Abraham Lincoln's "House Divided" speech:

"Wise counsels may accelerate or mistakes delay it, but sooner or later the victory is sure to come."

While Lincoln may have been speaking of much larger problems such as slavery, the same bears true in all of life's challenges. Whether the victory looks like we imagined it or whether it comes to us almost unrecognizable, concealed in an apparent defeat, the victory will come. It's our job to keep pushing towards it, to keep anticipating it.

Slowly but surely the victory will come.