Sometime in the past week I climbed down into a valley. Not a low, depressed one. Just a humdrum, everyday type of valley. It's one of those valleys that let you just sink into this monotony where praying doesn't really seem necessary. Things aren't great but they aren't bad either. It just kind of is.
This week I have more of a question than any deep thoughts: what do you do when you hit one of these valleys?
In the past I would treat it like I treated exercise: push through the rough patch and force myself to do it no matter how much I don't want to.
But then a few weeks ago I was doing a Bible study and the author discussed the fact that we should come to Him out of love and worship, not a sense of obligation.
And when I hit these patches, it feels a lot more like obligation than love. In all honesty, when I hit these patches I start to lose interest and with that interest, love. I feel guilty even admitting that but there it is: somedays I'm just not that interested in Him.
Then again, that's what love is: it's a series of choices that you make every single day. It's not really a feeling.
I have to do something to bring some spice back into this valley. But what? My usual m.o. is just to keep with my quiet time the same as always and hope the spark returns. Occasionally I'll add something in or take something out: I'll start meditating or just read the Bible instead of reading the Bible and a Christian book.
Maybe that's where things go wrong: it's too routine. But how do I make things less routine and more organic without completely drifting away?
I'm rambling today. Honestly, between the explosions in West and Boston, the high pollen count, and a late shift at work putting out new merchandise (FYI--bras fresh from the manufacturer smell awful. I mean truly, unbelievably awful), my poor brain isn't functioning well right now.
What I'm getting at is essentially this: what do you do when you hit a monotonous patch in your faith?
What is the POP? According to host Horseshoes & Pearls,
"The POP is a weekly blog-hop designed to bring blogger friends together on a more personal level. The Power of Prayer is an amazing thing! We all struggle with personal and daily situations where the only thing left to do is turn to God and let the Power of Prayer take over."
Every Thursday I'll be participating in the POP. If you're a fellow Christian blogger, consider joining in the fun! Make sure to go visit the host (link above) and add your post to the list. There's also more information on the host page if you're interested!
Hey Courtney, I was in one of those lulls last week. I decided that I would fast, my desire is to spend time with the Lord and when I do not feel like it...for me that means something is wrong. I like you have a very routine quiet time and like you said love is not a feeling to me it is any action. I press forward in my lulls and show God that no matter how I feel I resolve to continue showing my love for him. Yes I have the feelings like I don't want to read, pray, or study....but I press through, not out of obligation but out of love. The other times I never thought to fast but this time I felt my disconnect was because I was distracted. I joined the 40 day Overcomethelie.com challenge hoping that I will shake whatever is stopping me from yearning for time with God like I normally do. I hope this helps you see you are not alone...sometimes I think lulls come with change of spiritual seasons, other times I believe they come with spiritual warfare.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, this was a great post. Valleys, ugh. I had my hands raised reading through this because I can SO empathize with how you're feeling. I believe that God purposes valleys, just like He purposes everything else. I know that I've come out of some valleys so much stronger in faith than I was going into them. But they're never easy to deal with. And, like you, I always feel guilt attached. Usually, I think I follow your "push through" method and try to reconnect by continuing my quiet times, hoping that things will change. In time, they always do. Sometimes it's days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. Hugs to you, friend, as you go through this valley!! Praying to God will show you something new and exciting when it's all said and done. :)
ReplyDelete