[homemaker v. careermaker]

Feminism isn't a new blog topic for me but it is one that has been on my heart and my mind a lot lately.

There are an abundance of blogs, magazines, and individuals out there who will be quick to tell you that a homemaker is anti-feminist, that staying home defeats the cause, and that it's a slap in the face to everything women worked so hard for. I've heard female friends and colleagues say that they look down on women who don't have careers.

That bothers me.

A lot.

Quite frankly, I think that viewpoint is anti-feminist.

You see, 50 years ago women were told "you're less of a woman if you have a job". Now women are told "you're less of a woman if you don't have a job".

Same thing, different generation if you ask me.

So let's redefine feminism.

Feminism is about choice. It's about giving women the ability to have a career or to stay home. Without that choice, we really haven't changed anything. Women are in the same position: locked into doing something they may not want to do because that's what they're told they must do in order to be a woman.

Instead, let's tell the homemaker she's just as much of a woman as a CEO. Let's tell young girls to follow the path that calls to them. Let's tell them that if they want to stay home and raise children to do it. Let's tell them that if they want to make partner in a law firm to do it.

The same goes for our little boys. Let's not limit their options either. Let them have the ability to chose too.

I have friends that are doing amazing things in their career fields. I'm continually in awe of all they've done. I have friends that are stay-at-home moms doing amazing things for their children. I'm continually in awe of all they do as well. Raising children properly is not easy work so let's stop pretending that it is. Let's also start disciplining our children and stop giving them trophies just for showing up but that's another post for another day.

Some women grow up playing house and dream of having a passel of children. Some women grow up playing doctor. So why is only one of those dreams considered valid?

As women, let's start celebrating each other. We don't do that very much and I think that's a part of what's holding us back. We spend so much time criticizing other women's choices that men and other women think that's acceptable. It's not constructive criticism either; I'm all for constructive criticism but "you're not a real woman" is not constructive in any way. It's destructive. But I digress.

What I want to say is this: let's shift our viewpoint so that the homemaker is just as much of a feminist as the career woman. Let's not put a woman down for walking away from a career to raise a family. Let's embrace the woman that chooses raise children at home the same way we embrace the woman who chooses to climb the corporate ladder.

We're all women here after all.


  1. Yes! So much yes to this. I don't believe that only one path is a fits all situation, having choices and options is what freedom is all about.

  2. I'm so glad to hear people agree :). Hopefully one day more people will!

  3. Finally catching up on your blog. Love love love this. Everything about this. I have tried to elaborate and keep scrapping the sentences. :) You said it better than I could. I'm sharing this on Facebook!